Sometimes.

Sometimes when it's finally time for bed, my mind doesn't want to sleep. So I get on my lap-top in my nice dark room with my baby sister already in dream land just a few feet from me, instead of sleeping. I do feel a bit guilty typing but she's not such a light sleeper like me.

When I'm not sleeping I'm thinking because to be honest not alot of that goes on during my day. I've achieved an auto-pilot, cruise control mind set. Work, drive, work, drive, sometimes eat. None of which requires much original thought or deep pondering.

I think about girly things. I try not to think about money, school, work, my future-well some more stressful aspects of it, cuz those thoughts find their way to the front of my mind too often, guess my cruise control needs adjusting. I also tend to read my favorite blogs and that adds to my thinking.

Tonight I think I realized something :

In these last months of hurting and learning I never really gave up certain dreams. I tried and I truly thought I could live without them, maybe I could but don't want to. I feel silly thinking of such foolish girly things. Maybe tomorrow I'll think more clearly and figure out what I mean.